empty nest

When your children leave home and you become an empty nester you have to face a significant change in your role as a parent and how you move forward in your marriage. Becoming an empty nester was definitely a cross roads in my life. Certainly not an easy thing for a mother to face especially when I loved and enjoyed the role and so much of my time had revolved around activities that supported my children. I approached this new cross roads by focusing on letting go as much as I could as they moved on from their teenage years. This decision was colored by my own up bringing and experiences and the expectations of early independence. At sixteen years old I worked so that I could earn my own money to buy clothes and was allowed (within certain limits) to pick my own styles. I never had a curfew and was trusted to be home before it was too late. I was allowed to have boy friends at the house and I remember my parents staying out of the kitchen while I cooked a special meal for my boyfriend. Once we were earning we were also expected to give our mothers money to help towards our keep. Unconsciously, the expectations were being set and consciously I remember the feeling of excitement about the new freedoms, responsibilities and possibilities that lay ahead. As a young adult I couldn’t wait to experience life and I knew that my children would be feeling the same way. So I embraced the changing role with my children and looked to the future. What would stay with me forever were the fond and wonderful memories those years had brought. What lay ahead was a new chapter in my marriage where all of the pages were blank; a chance to reconnect with my husband and a new beginning to the rest of our lives together