Dec

20

Empty Nest Syndrome – One Man’s View

Posted by cameron

December 20, 2006 |

There appears to be a category of men that exhibit empty nest syndrome when kids leave home. Some men do, some don’t. Humans span the full spectrum of behavior. I care about my kids and this makes me wonder why I didn’t suffer the syndrome at all. Looking back to the era I came through, dads were expected to be different. Men were the breadwinners, head of the household and disciplinarians. Times have changed and for the better. Roles are more balanced, rather than me having my job and her having hers. I found it easier as my kids grew up and could communicate better. It was harder for me to deal with the young babies than it was dealing with a young child telling me about something they did at school. The ties became stronger as they got older. Then it became an issue of “what will they do next” rather than looking back to what was. Although I was a single wage earner and striving in my career for the longest time, I enjoyed being involved in sports and school activities. (Even the homework!) As I reflect on this, I think there are four main reasons for me not experiencing the syndrome. First, there is great satisfaction in seeing my children continuing on with their lives independently. Second, I am a forward looking person, always planning and looking forward to the next stage. It’s probably the Engineer in me. But this has a tendency to make me view life like a child views Christmas. There is nothing wrong with today but I can hardly wait for tomorrow. I look forward to their tomorrows. Thirdly, my wife is an awesome person who prepared herself long before the kids had left. She had plenty of time since we had four kids and the process of emptying the nest was long and slow. Because we started to have the time, and we both wanted it, we started to reconnect in a different way. That helped me tremendously. Our lives started to change. There was no steep drop off to overcome. Last, we prepared ourselves for a new life. You can see some of the things we did in related posts below. Bottom line is this; change is inevitable and constant. If you spend your time doting on the past then life is passing you by as you dote.


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