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Posted by maureen
January 4, 2007 |
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The best wedding gifts you’ll ever get aren’t the ones wrapped in pretty paper. When I got married I expected to be married for a lifetime and didn’t think there would be anything unique or in the least bit exceptional about being married to the same man for 40 years. The truth is that life has changed dramatically since we first meet. Men and women no longer have such clearly defined roles, many women work and both partners often take a hand in the cooking, cleaning and child care. I would think that this would be liberating and offer an opportunity for a more fulfilling partnership. However, half of all the couples marrying today will end in divorce. So what makes a successful marriage? Life changes but the fundamentals stay true and these could be the best wedding gifts of all.
Initial Attraction ……..
Most love stories begin with an initial attraction. It’s an intangible and something that continues to attract you to that person long after the wedding vows, long after the children have come and gone. It’s hard to describe but you know it’s there when they walk into the room. It makes your heart sing and sometimes it takes your breath away. It will be important in your life together.
………………………………and deeper attraction.
You also need to like the person you marry. Sounds silly but you need to know what type of person they are. Are they caring and thoughtful or selfish and self centered, don’t expect the person to change just because you married them. You need to like this person inside and out. Remember that you are going to find lots of things that you disagree on so make sure that you feel the same way about the big issues in life. Liking and respecting this person is essential. Do you enjoy spending time together?
Making Your Partner Your Best Friend
At the end of the day you need to know that there is someone you can count on, someone you can share your hopes and fears with, someone who cares for you, someone you can rely on; in short a best friend. Build togetherness and a bond that is so strong that you never doubt it. There is nothing like being able to share the highs and the lows in life with someone you love. The old adage “A problem shared is a problem halved” still holds true.
Money Cannot Buy Happiness.
For the first few years of our married life we were extremely hard up. It was stressful and worrying at times but I was never unhappy. It showed me what really mattered in life, and I knew that happiness wasn’t about a house or car. My family was the thing that mattered and they made me happy. Everything else is icing on the cake!
Lots of Give and Receive
Life and marriage are full of compromises and without it daily life can be a battle. Know that the small things in life are really that and as they say “don’t sweat the small stuff” Learn to give and receive. Make sure that you are grateful when you are receiving and that you know how to give equally as well as to receive. Don’t keep count but do your fair share of both.
Keep the Romance Alive
When we were young and couldn’t afford babysitters or nights out we would have a romantic evening at home. Sometimes I’d cook a favorite meal and we would dress up for each other. We’d build a big fire and drink cheap wine and hope that the kids didn’t wake up! We had some great, romantic times and continue to find ways to bring romance to our marriage.
Don’t Wait For That Special Occasion.
It sounds easy but so often we forget to thank each other or show our appreciation. Don’t wait for special occasions to say those all important things to each other. Don’t let Hallmark dictate when your special moments are. Sometimes the best time to say “I love you” is the most unexpected time…I guarantee it will be remembered.
Talk To Each Other.
All couples encounter areas of disagreement in their lives together; in fact, having some difference of opinions can make life more interesting. Money is one area that can cause major problems though. There is no quick answer but if the goals and attitudes toward money are shared, the mechanics of how the money is managed are less important. Talk over your differences. Don‘t let things fester. I have always believed that you shouldn’t go to sleep while being angry at each other.
Keep A Sense of Humor.
Humor helps to keep things in perspective and can make difficult situations easier.
Love Can Move Mountains.
The truth is if you love someone you really can move mountains but you need to have a commitment and make it your priority. A successful marriage is a joy. Having a partner to share your life with is priceless. These are the true gifts.
Comments
you forgot one… A happy wife is a happy life
So true, a man of wisdom!