Feb

23

Humorous Epitaphs- How do you want to be remembered?

Posted by maureen

February 23, 2007 |

Have you ever considered writing your own epitaphs? I hadn’t given it much thought until I came across the examples below. As you will see epitaphs come in all forms and can be serious, witty, irreverent and profound. What would you say about yourself?

gravestone.jpg

Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona
He was young
He was fair
But the Injuns
Raised his hair

Colorado
Bill Blake
Was hanged by mistake.
Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona

Here lays Butch.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw
Falkirk, England 1690

Here lie the bones of Joseph Jones
Who ate while he was able.
But once overfed, he dropt down dead
And fell beneath the table.
When from the tomb, to meet his doom,
He arises amidst sinners.
Since he must dwell in heaven or hell,
Take him - whichever gives the best dinners.

Silver City, Nevada
Here lies a man named Zeke.
Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.
(May be in Cripple Creek, Colorado)

John Dryden (1631-1700) on his wife
Here lies my wife: here let her lie!
Now she’s at rest, and so am I.

Larne, Ireland - On a hanged sheep stealer
Here lies the body of
Thomas Kemp.
Who lived by wool
and died by hemp.
Bletchley, Bucks, England

On a coroner who hung himself:
He lived
And died
By suicide
West Grimstead, Sussex, England

On a Coal-miner
Gone Underground For Good

On a dentist:
Stranger tread
This ground with gravity.
Dentist Brown
Is filling his last cavity.
Edinburgh, Scotland

1787 - Jones - 1855
Here lie the bones of Sophie Jones;
For her death held no terrors.
She was born a maid and died a maid.
No hits, no runs, and no heirs.*
(* errors) Scranton, Pennsylvania

Beneath his silent stone is laid
A noisy, antiquated maid,
Who from her cradle talked to death,
And never before was out of breath.
Here lies, returned to clay
Miss Arabella Young,
Who on the eleventh day of May
Began to hold her tongue.
1794-1863

Here lies the father of 29.
He would have had more
But he didn’t have time.
Moultrie, Georgia

In a Georgia cemetery
“I told you I was sick!”

On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia
She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.

I am ready to meet my Maker
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

A Gentle Man and a Gentleman
Jack Dempsey

Thank you for all the love you gave me.
There could be no one stronger.
Thank you for the many beautiful songs
They will live long and longer
Hank Williams

Nature and Nature’s Law lay hid in night:
God said, “Let Newton be” and all was light
Isaac Newton
Composed by Alexander Pope


Comments

1 Comment so far

  1. Christopher Waldrop on February 25, 2007 9:33 am

    I hadn’t given much thought to my own epitaph, but maybe I should, so I’ll know what it is. I’d like to follow in the tradition of P.T. Barnum who, with impeccable timing, had his obituary printed a week before he died–so he could read it!

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